Will you come with me, Mama?

I keep trying to upload pictures, but Blogspot has been difficult. I've had this entry done for about a week and a half now, but can't seem to get it to work! So, I've got some catching up to do! Forgive the randomly put together pictures. We've had a fun Christmastide together!

Back when it started to snow, and it wasn't time to put up the Christmas decorations, I decided we should do a little activity together and make snowflakes to put around the house! We had fun. Ingrid is starting to like to use scissors, and I happened to have some glitter glue, so she had fun making them sparkly. Eventually, I ended up making the snowflakes and letting her unfold them and put the glitter on them. We hung them from the ceiling and the windows! It made it snow inside!
We also had to make sure Ingrid had a new Christmas dress--Rowan got a little cow outfit. They were so cute! Ingrid wore her dress to her Christmas play. This year, instead of red, we did pink--because she says that pink is her favorite color...probably because Gramma Camra started her out in pink any chance she got! :) Aunt Sarah would be proud, too!

Ingrid was in her first church Christmas play the weekend before Christmas. She was so cute. She knew every word to every song, and sang in key more than most of the other older kids... :) She's a natural singer. Of course we think she is practically a prodigy... :)

She also had one line.

"Peace on Earth."

And she refused to say it. She's so unabashed during her singing, but when it came to saying her line, she just clammed up! I couldn't get her to want to do it, and she wouldn't say it when the director (or her little 4th grade friends) told her to. Oh well. But her singing is so funny! :) She even dances a little. And she's very serious about it. Reminds me of myself... She stood on the stage in her little angel outfit and waved at me at every opportunity...usually when it's not such a good idea to be waving to me. She makes me giggle.

Here is a snippet of a rehearsal. She did well at the performance, too, although when she stepped out onto the stage, she froze and just stared at the audience... It was so funny! She was only the second one out--everyone else was waiting for her to move in order to get out onto the stage. She stood there until the other little girl who walked out in front of her came back to get her. It only took her one song to get back to being comfortable, though. Later, we asked her what she was thinking when she saw all the people. She said it was different with all the people there. It was funny. This is what makes the kids' growing up worth it to me. I've always dreamed of seeing my kids in plays or recitals or sporting events--being the Mom in the audience. :) How fun!

Rowan loved watching. He sings to me and dances and claps with all the kids... He's going to be a natural, too...albeit probably a bit more of a card than Ingrid. Ingrid is really funny, but she isn't being funny on purpose, really. She just is funny. Rowan, on the other hand, knows when he's funny, and plays it up! He'll be a little comedian, I think... He'll be the kid in the play that does something for America's Funniest Home Videos. Who knows? Maybe he'll make us some money someday! :)

The other night on the way home from play practice, Ingrid was trying to stay awake in the car and started up a conversation about Jesus.

From the mouths of babes...

Here's how it went:

"Mommy, how does Jesus talk?"

"Well, he talked just like us when he was a man--he was born like every other baby, grew up into a little boy like Rowan, then into a man like Papa, and then God said that His work was all done here on earth and he wanted him back in heaven with him, so he died--but then he came back alive and went to heaven so that we could go with him when our work is done. Now he talks to us with dreams or ideas or feelings mostly."

"I want to go to heaven."

"I do, too. Jesus came back to life so we could go with him. All we have to do is believe that he's alive and the son of God, and he'll send for us when our work is done here. Landon (my cousin's son who passed away 2 years ago) is in heaven with Jesus!"

"Landon's mommy, Landon's daddy, and baby Landon?"

"Well, no, just Landon. But he's very happy with Jesus. God told us that there will be no tears in heaven. We won't be afraid or sad or hurt anymore there. Sounds like a pretty great place, huh?"

"Yeah. (pause) But will you come to heaven with me, Mama? I would be afraid if you left."

This is where the knife in my gut twisted... After I fought back some tears, I finally said:

"Oh, sweetie...We'll all be together in heaven someday. We might go at different times, but I'll meet you there, I promise. It's like when you go stay with Aunt Anita, and I always ome back? That's the way it would be."

"Okay. Will Papa come too?"

"Yes."

"Okay."

Shew. These are the moments nobody tells you to prepare yourself for when you're driving your kids home on a cold, ordinary, sacred, irreplacable night... But I suppose it's not something you can prepare for.

I keep coming back to a prayer Sara Groves prays in one of her songs "Prayers for a Child"

"I only have two eyes,

Be all-seeing...

I only have two hands,

Be everywhere...

I do not know enough...

Be all-knowing.

I give this baby up

into Your care.

I do not know how to pray for this child..."

I keep thinking about that verse in Luke that tells us that after the shepherds visit, Mary ponders in her heart all the things they tell her...

And the Spirit promises me that it will intercede for me in groans I cannot speak....