We had a yard sale this weekend. I sold some baby stuff (not everything...I didn't have time or energy to get through EVERYTHING.) and made about $50. I choked back the tears all weekend... Silly how "stuff" can mean so much, but all the sleepless nights, sweet-smells of babies, and the exquisite feeling of a baby sleeping on my chest were almost tangible as I sold my babies' clothes to other mommies and grandmas. Each $.50 piece of clothing had a prayer that went with it...
The saddest part of my Friday was when I sold 3 flannel baby blankets to a local farmer to use as grease rags! I literally almost cried in front of him! I've kicked myself several times for doing it, but half of me also says that I need to separate my memories from my stuff. After all, my babies' babyhood is NOT in those blankets. Neither are the memories.
So, as I reflect on my babies...and grapple with their independence from me...I pray that God will show me how to find my worth in God, not in whether my children need me...and that God would show me God's plan for my life... I know God is faithful. Now, I just want to be.
4 months ago