I really tried to be prepared. Andrew, Ingrid, and I had convened to come up with a working routine and a sticker board so that maybe Ingrid wouldn't feel so unscheduled and ignored when I was with the baby. Every time she completed something on the sticker board, she got to pick out a special sticker (we went shopping for special stickers for this the other night...) and put it on the box beside of the thing she had just completed. If you can see, there is no sticker on Outside Time OR Nap Time... *sigh....*
I had Rowan in a front pack (my sling shopping went awry...I thought I was ordering a certain kind that was adjustable, but thought wrong. I'm going to have to send it back, I think...) and we were doing pretty well. The morning went very well. Ingrid even played in her room very nicely (minus the writing on her legs and tummy with a pen I didn't realize she had...) while I took a shower with the baby in the swing. Time for playground!!
We did well at the playground at first. It was pretty hot, though, so I decided we'd go to the playground up the hill that was partially in the shade. When the baby started to seem hungry, and I was really hot, and Ingrid was laying down on the step of the slide because she was so tired, I suggested we go home and put a sticker on the board, and then we'd eat some lunch. She got that look on her face that makes me SO MAD and stayed just out of reach and refused to come down off the slide. I tried bribing her with a great lunch. I tried talking up the stickers. I tried being positive about how well she had done so far. I finally told her she had one more chance to come down the slide or the steps or she didn't get a sticker. She didn't care. I told her if I had to come get her down, there would be no sticker. She didn't care. I went up the steps and got her.
Then all hell broke loose. It was all I could do not to just drag her down the steps and down the hill to the house because the baby was looking red from heat and acting hungry, and Ingrid DID NOT CARE. I sat down with her on the steps. After wrestling with her a while (and jostling the baby!), I waited for her to stop crying. Somehow, we both calmed down enough to walk down the hill to the house.
Maybe I'm a bad mother, but I have a really hard time making things positive and fun when she's not minding me... I think it's time for a time-out chair or something, but I know for sure I would be the one using it because she doesn't have these tantrums for Andrew. He's the "fun one." He can flip her over his shoulder and she doesn't care that she's going home when she doesn't want to. I can't do that in my present state while carrying a newborn, and frankly, I don't think it's in me to do it anyway...
I do have to say that I feel extremely lucky to have Andrew as the father of my children. I don't know what I would have done these past few weeks before and after the baby was born if he hadn't had my back. I KNOW I would be in full-blown tears (instead of teary-eyed) right now if he hadn't intervened this afternoon, even though he's working from home today. Thank you, God for a wonderful husband.
I hope some of this emotion is partly post-partum hormones and lack of sleep. I pray things get better. I'm sure it will...but I think it might be having to get through hour by hour...
On a lighter note, here are some more pics of the little guy...he looks like a baby monkey, doesn't he? He's so sweet.